Three years ago, we took the family to my company's picnic at Huber’s, a family farm about 45 minutes from our home. At the time, I shared my mortification at the fact that we had left Sam's shoes at home. I have photos of him traipsing through the pumpkin patch, barefoot without a care in … Continue reading Mortification, Phase 2
I'm thinking about writing a book called Where the Sidewalk Ends. My version will not be a classic book of quirky, lovable poetry for young and old alike. Mine will be about middle-age man who goes on a stroll during lunch in an industrial park, gets lost, and has to dodge semi-trucks and forklifts in … Continue reading The Dangers of Cardio
In a rare second-post in as many quarter-days, I offer another peek into my forthcoming* book, A Handful of You Will Be Succesful. It is certain to fly off of the shelves, and not in the super-cool Harry Potter way. Thanks for absorbing more of my wise words reading! Words of Wisdom for the Class of … Continue reading Aside //5 – More “Wisdom”
The Scientist drove slowly down a street surrounding the track, traveling at an unreasonable 3 miles-per-hour with the other unfortunate commuters who were just trying to get to the interstate and on with their weekends. He let out an unrestrained "dang it" under his breath, the closest thing to a real curse his Church of Christ … Continue reading 10// Derby
The meeting request from the sales manager said that The Scientist was "cordially" invited to a work-related dinner later that week. While most would consider it a pleasant thing to be invited to ANY dinner, he supposed, and while the restaurant the company was springing for was fairly upscale (or so he had heard - he … Continue reading 9// Niceties
The Scientist stared at the sign outside of the ballroom which announced, in small plastic lettering, "Conceal Carry Conference. Registration Inside". Guns, he thought. The concept of owning a gun was somewhat strange to him, as it was simply not something he had grown up around, at least not directly; thus he had never really … Continue reading 7// Concealment
December 1968 - Merritt Island, Florida The West Break Room was empty, save for Senior Aerospace Engineers McMilty and Dumas, who sat alone at one of the rectangular white tables. Each man was dressed in the standard black pants and white short-sleeved button-down shirt favored by the scientific professional of the day. Their thin black … Continue reading 6// Grudges
He'd been very intrigued and even mildly disturbed, as of late, by the salutatory phrases people chose to throw around, particularly in the workplace. To some of these greetings, he had absolutely no idea how to respond properly. A recent example was the question, "What's the good word?" As in, "Happy Friday! What's the good word?" While he … Continue reading 4// Greetings
We've all gone crazy lately. ~Elton John He was repeating the tired cliché to himself again, as he drove down the familiar and brutally cold stretch of interstate. How was it already the first day back to work after the holidays? Again? Time didn't just fly, it seemed to blast forward, barely visible, like a … Continue reading 1// Merging
I didn’t make the 40 posts by my 40th birthday, a fact which surprises no one and for which many are rejoicing. I did, however, write one further (insufferably long and possibly rambling) post before I ride off into the sunset to shop for a recliner with plenty of lower back support and to find a … Continue reading The Cabinet (aka: 40by40 Admission of Failure)
I try to mind my manners, but come on!
If you're on LinkedIn, you'll likely know that you can endorse people for certain skills. You can attest to a person's abilities, experience, and qualities, characteristics which they themselves have highlighted as their core competencies, and which they, apparently, feel might make them marketable: For example: Does Carl know about quality control? Yes, he does. Is … Continue reading The Missing LinkedIn Feature
The break room refrigerator. If anything will make you want to withdraw from the rest of humanity, it is this abomination. And I say this knowing I'm part of the problem, adding my own spicy leftovers to the already volatile mix. But there are some smells emanating from that thing which defy even the most … Continue reading SRS Report for the Week of May 28, 2017
I work in a manufacturing environment, and as such, my colleagues and I are subject to annual drug screenings, which you may know is a urine test. I understand the need for such a thing and have no qualms about complying. However, it is a kind of odd event, particularly in a large facility like ours. … Continue reading The Cup of Professionalism
My kids argue nearly every morning over where they are going to sit in the van on the way to school. Needless to say, the conversations quickly turn irrational. I'm hoping they get over this before they enter the workaday world. I cannot imagine this being a productive practice in, say, an office environment: "Carl, … Continue reading I Never Get to Sit There!