The Human Alarm Clock

Modern alarm clocks and apps usually have a setting which allows them to become progressively louder or more obnoxious as the minutes tick away. I realized this morning that I have become this for my family, as my tone and language escalates . . .

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Whatever decks your halls, I guess

Let's talk about "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus". The whole scenario has always seemed a bit…off, to me. I, of course, understand the twist. But, why is he in a Santa suit if the kids are in bed? Does he work as a department store Santa and just got home? Or did we pop … Continue reading Whatever decks your halls, I guess

Mortification, Phase 2

Three years ago, we took the family to my company's picnic at Huber’s, a family farm about 45 minutes from our home. At the time, I shared my mortification at the fact that we had left Sam's shoes at home. I have photos of him traipsing through the pumpkin patch, barefoot without a care in … Continue reading Mortification, Phase 2

Aside – Road Trip 2018

I listened to a Hemingway book during our drive down to Florida, so tonight's post, which is meant to relate a fairly common parental culinary struggle, is written (in a very poor imitation) in his honor. The waves were tall and dark green. There was much foam. The flag flying above the distant estación de … Continue reading Aside – Road Trip 2018

Author’s Aside //3 – Horses

It's Kentucky Derby time, and here in my hometown of Lousiville, KY, the excitement is palpable! Which, for me, means I am getting ready to put on some old running shoes so I can spend the day pulling weeds in my yard only to use them to cover up bald dirt spots, with the full knowledge … Continue reading Author’s Aside //3 – Horses

Author’s Aside //2 – Sizes

Note: After inventing the concept of "Aside" last week (again, I have very few superhuman abilities, but (taking credit for) the invention of literary concepts is one of them), and applying it to my blogging efforts, I offer another today.  It's short. In fact, this intro is longer.  But, as before, I do this to keep … Continue reading Author’s Aside //2 – Sizes

Author’s Aside //1 – “Traveling”

This is the part of the (blogging) program where I start to wonder if using this format to practice and purvey "fiction" was a wise choice because fiction is so darn difficult.  Who knew?! So, while I work up (read: "draft and then cry in despair over while eating a large Peanut Butter Cookie Dough … Continue reading Author’s Aside //1 – “Traveling”

Holidays

Depending on your religious affiliation or celebration preferences, I wanted to wish you all a Happy . . . "National Candy-for-Breakfast" Day! or "Dental-Professional-Boat-Down-Payment" Day! or "I can't go to school, I feel horrible!" Day! or "The skeleton and half-rotted pumpkin sitting on my porch look a bit beyond creepy now" Day! or "Can I listen to Christmas … Continue reading Holidays

The Cabinet (aka: 40by40 Admission of Failure)

I didn’t make the 40 posts by my 40th birthday, a fact which surprises no one and for which many are rejoicing.  I did, however, write one further (insufferably long and possibly rambling) post before I ride off into the sunset to shop for a recliner with plenty of lower back support and to find a … Continue reading The Cabinet (aka: 40by40 Admission of Failure)

Making “Memories”

I thought it might be fun this morning to get up and make a homemade breakfast for the kids (because, as documented before, my kids love breakfast foods). I remember my mom and grandmothers making breakfast, the smell of bacon and biscuits filling the house. In my memory, I see them in their serene, cool, … Continue reading Making “Memories”