Guess What

My son uses the phrase "Guess what." approximately 1183 times a day. I don't know if that's typical, but I hope he outgrows it before he enters the workforce. I can imagine it will not be necessarily appreciated: Hey, Boss! Guess what. What? I ran those tests you asked for, and guess what. What? I … Continue reading Guess What

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Cannot, Shall Not

In which a common parent-child “conversation” is relayed, one which highlights the near-impossibility of achieving a base understanding when it comes to certain subjects, further solidifying a father’s status as “moron.” Or something.

9// Niceties

The meeting request from the sales manager said that The Scientist was "cordially" invited to a work-related dinner later that week.  While most would consider it a pleasant thing to be invited to ANY dinner, he supposed, and while the restaurant the company was springing for was fairly upscale (or so he had heard - he … Continue reading 9// Niceties

I Never Get to Sit There!

My kids argue nearly every morning over where they are going to sit in the van on the way to school. Needless to say, the conversations quickly turn irrational. I'm hoping they get over this before they enter the workaday world. I cannot imagine this being a productive practice in, say, an office environment: "Carl, … Continue reading I Never Get to Sit There!

The Futility of “Communication”

Me: Does anyone want any more spaghetti before I put it up? {Silence} Me: Girls? Sam? I'm putting up the spaghetti. {No response} Me: I'm going to put up the spaghetti.  No one wants any? {Crickets} Me: Ok, I'm putting up the spaghetti now. {Never has the house been so quiet} Me: Ok, last chance … Continue reading The Futility of “Communication”