On Humor in the Midst of Pain

Favorite ER moment thus far: when the guy next to me borrowed my phone to call his woman because he missed her "sexy face". At least I'm entertained.

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On the Differences Between Kids and Pets – Part 1

I thought taking care of a puppy and raising a toddler would be very similar, but I'm finding there are a ton of differences. For instance, one constantly climbs on the furniture, eats any and everything left on the floor, destroys our stuff, poops and pees all over the house, and can't be trusted alone. … Continue reading On the Differences Between Kids and Pets – Part 1

On 5 Tips for Raising Children in the 21st Century

Raising children today can certainly be a difficult and grueling task. Knowing how to effectively navigate the often will-crushing, despair-infested waters known as parenthood has never been easy. Until now. Pay heed to these simple child-rearing tips, and you'll be captain of the S.S. Good Parent in no time. 1. Social Media is your friend. … Continue reading On 5 Tips for Raising Children in the 21st Century

On Non-Covert Jelly Beans

"Daddy, is that candy you put in your bag? I thought I saw candy. Did you put candy in there? What kind of candy is it? Why are you taking candy to work?"I'm thankful for their growing little inquisitive minds, but, c'mon!

On 7 Phrases We Must Stop Using. Now.

No one appointed me, nor do I aspire to be, a member of the grammar police - those folks do great work. However, I hear, and often use, the following phrases, words, etc quite often, and insist we must work together to make these phrases disappear from common use. Please help as you can.7. Watering Hole.As … Continue reading On 7 Phrases We Must Stop Using. Now.

On Accepting My Age – Part 1

So I didn't watch the VMAs, but it is all over my twitter feed so I think I get the gist of it. I don't know exactly when I became old, but today is the day I realize and embrace it with joy and gladness. All I can say is that I'll tune back in … Continue reading On Accepting My Age – Part 1

On the Line Between Creative and Horrifying

One the one hand, I love that you are so creative.  I love that you took such care in making this mask, on your own with no help or instruction. You are a treasure and I'm thankful to God that I get to be your dad.  On the other hand, excuse daddy while he calls church to … Continue reading On the Line Between Creative and Horrifying

Ode to a Puppy

This relationship has started much as I believed it would: My human children nestled snugly in their beds as you and I stand together in the dark and in the rain, both of us tired, both of us a little confused as to how we got here; me, begging you to go to the bathroom, … Continue reading Ode to a Puppy

On the Sounds of Parenthood

Before we had kids, people used to talk about the joy of hearing the pitter-patter of little feet. What those people failed to mention is that sometimes the pitter-patter is accompanied by screams of, "You lied to me Evie. You lied to me!"

On Vacation – Part 1

Thus begins the great American tradition of travelling to the sea, trudging through the most uncomfortable and intrusive substance known to man, hot sand, throwing our children into the water, and praying that no one gets eaten by a shark. Strange folks, we are.

On the Importance of Telling the Truth

A guy at work told me that we need to "let sleeping dogs lie".  Call me old-fashioned, but if we start down that road, next thing we know groggy dogs are cheating on their taxes and fully awake dogs are stealing our cars.

On the Importance of Verbal Communication

Experts agree that language development is a key component to a child's overall growth.  Some really important made-up institute of such-and-such has recently released the following infographic showing the top ten most uttered phrases in the typical US household.  I'm not saying we hear these in our home, but am passing along this data as a … Continue reading On the Importance of Verbal Communication

On Playground Thugs

I was at the playground with two of my children, and became annoyed when I glanced at the top of the slide to see a group of boys blocking the entrance, like some sort of pre-teen gang. Then I looked closer and saw my 2 year old, Sam, sitting in the middle of the group, … Continue reading On Playground Thugs