On Playground Thugs

I was at the playground with two of my children, and became annoyed when I glanced at the top of the slide to see a group of boys blocking the entrance, like some sort of pre-teen gang. Then I looked closer and saw my 2 year old, Sam, sitting in the middle of the group, … Continue reading On Playground Thugs

On Phrases I Never Thought I’d Need – Part 2

Yet another phrase I never thought I'd have to say to another human being: "Gracious, son, quit slurping water off the ground."

On the Unifying Power of the Other Football

I love how the World Cup has worked to unify our country. For instance, normally the guy at the park lurking in the trees with headphones on, sharing the score with random passers by would be kinda creepy. Now, it's downright patriotic.

On Becoming a Super-Hero – Part 2

This weekend, I proved yet again that I lack some basic life skills needed to function in sophisticated society. Abby and I were at the pool, sans kids, meaning I had adequate, un-interrupted time to properly apply sunscreen. Flash forward 2 days, and I resemble a markedly non-threatening X-Men villain, with roughly half of my … Continue reading On Becoming a Super-Hero – Part 2

On the Pitfalls of Dictation Apps

Google, I clearly said TWINE. Bring TWINE to work.  Why can't you...Wait, I get it: you WANT me to lose my job so we can spend more time together.  Touché, Google. Touché

On Diuretics in Literature

I've never read the book "Three Cups of Tea", but I drank 3 cups of tea this afternoon.  I can only guess that book is about having to go the restroom every 10 minutes.  

On Common Sense

Being served by the same lady at the McDonald's drive through twice in the same day = parenting fail. Avoiding a three-peat by getting dinner at a different McDonald's = common sense.

On the Walking Heart

It has been said that having children is like having your heart walking around on the outside of your body. That's a pretty good analogy, I think. And, apparently, my heart has no qualms about urinating in the bathtub. Who knew?

On my . . .

One of the features of my phone which I've come to rely on pretty heavily is the so-called "Word Prediction" feature. This is where your phone analyzes what you've typed so far, and offers suggestions for what your next word might be. You can then select the word instead of having to type it. It's … Continue reading On my . . .

On What Choosey Kids Choose – Part 3

My son. Try to give him a grilled cheese, he throws it on the floor and whines. Leave him unattended with a bowl of Friskies, and he can't get enough. Btw, he cried when I took this away.

On Covert Meetings

As amazing as parenthood can be, I have been convinced for some time that our children conspire against us. I have suspected covert meetings in the wee hours of the morning. It's impossible this is not happening. Below is a transcript of one such meeting. I offer this as a public service announcement. Be informed. … Continue reading On Covert Meetings

On a Trike with a Backpack

Sometimes I think of when my daughters were very little, riding their Dora tricycle, wearing their pink elephant backpack, and I think, "I really miss those days." Then I see my son, riding his Dora tricycle, wearing his pink elephant backpack, and I think, "We really need to go to Target."

On Bath Night – #1

It was bath night in the Mullins home. Which means our bathroom now resembles the deck of one of those boats that catches lobster in the arctic circle. Come to think of it, it would be nice to have one of those long hooks they use so we could just scoop kids out of the … Continue reading On Bath Night – #1

On What Choosey Kids Choose – Part 2

There are many mysteries that I'm convinced we won't fully understand this side of eternity: -Exactly how vast is this universe that God created? -How exactly did the Egyptians build those wonders we call the pyramids? -Why will a toddler scream as if he's being bitten by fire ants when offered a piece of pizza, yet climb head-first … Continue reading On What Choosey Kids Choose – Part 2