I mean, political affiliations aside, you can’t make this stuff up.
When I was a kid, I wanted to grow up to become a professional baseball player. I wanted to make a living playing a game that I loved. . .
This week at work, we had an "all-hands" meeting to discuss the state of the company. Most of it was presented in financial parlance, most of which was over my head, and likely over the heads of my colleagues, as we are largely a technical group. I feel like we were like a bunch of … Continue reading Business is Business
My son uses the phrase "Guess what." approximately 1183 times a day. I don't know if that's typical, but I hope he outgrows it before he enters the workforce. I can imagine it will not be necessarily appreciated: Hey, Boss! Guess what. What? I ran those tests you asked for, and guess what. What? I … Continue reading Guess What
I'm thinking about writing a book called Where the Sidewalk Ends. My version will not be a classic book of quirky, lovable poetry for young and old alike. Mine will be about middle-age man who goes on a stroll during lunch in an industrial park, gets lost, and has to dodge semi-trucks and forklifts in … Continue reading The Dangers of Cardio
In which the rigors of science threaten to kill the dreams of the past. Or something.
The meeting request from the sales manager said that The Scientist was "cordially" invited to a work-related dinner later that week. While most would consider it a pleasant thing to be invited to ANY dinner, he supposed, and while the restaurant the company was springing for was fairly upscale (or so he had heard - he … Continue reading 9// Niceties
When The Scientist entered his office, two packages were sitting on the floor in front of the desk. Each was, he would think later, about the size of a Cocker Spaniel, although he couldn't begin to say why that was the comparison his mind drew; he had never been a "dog person," and wasn't sure … Continue reading 2// Boxes
I didn’t make the 40 posts by my 40th birthday, a fact which surprises no one and for which many are rejoicing. I did, however, write one further (insufferably long and possibly rambling) post before I ride off into the sunset to shop for a recliner with plenty of lower back support and to find a … Continue reading The Cabinet (aka: 40by40 Admission of Failure)
We have one of those fancy lamination machines at work, those contraptions which heat-press plastic over sheets of paper to protect and preserve them against the elements, such as dirt and grime, helping to eliminate wrinkling and curling. Someone has printed out the machine's instruction page and placed it next to the machine, where it … Continue reading Workplace Observation #2
Of all the skills I have acquired in my current profession, I have to say I'm probably most proud of the timing with which I respond when I get an email saying there is free food in the break room. You never want to be the first (desperate) and you never want to be the … Continue reading Workplace observation #1
If you're on LinkedIn, you'll likely know that you can endorse people for certain skills. You can attest to a person's abilities, experience, and qualities, characteristics which they themselves have highlighted as their core competencies, and which they, apparently, feel might make them marketable: For example: Does Carl know about quality control? Yes, he does. Is … Continue reading The Missing LinkedIn Feature
On this beautiful day spent celebrating with my precious family, I'm reminded of one of the great privileges of working outside of the home, namely the freedom to use the restroom without someone outside the door asking what you're doing every 35 seconds. Today, I also salute YOU, stay-at-home moms and dads.
There are some truly lovely and helpful people who work at (insert name of national big box store). I in no way mean to suggest otherwise. In fact, we often happily shop at (insert name of national big box store). However, I'd be interested to know how the greeter at the (insert name of national … Continue reading The Big Box Greeter
I work in a manufacturing environment, and as such, my colleagues and I are subject to annual drug screenings, which you may know is a urine test. I understand the need for such a thing and have no qualms about complying. However, it is a kind of odd event, particularly in a large facility like ours. … Continue reading The Cup of Professionalism