We're continuing the age-old American tradition of visiting some of this great nation's best roadside attractions as we drive across this beautiful land. For instance, we just spent an hour and a half trying to find our way back onto Indiana's Most Flooded Interstate, and I'm thrilled to say we just ate at the World's … Continue reading On Amazing Places to Visit
I don't understand all of the hype about "driverless cars". Judging by the number of people I see sitting in the driver's seat, staring down at their phones, I'd say we've had driverless cars for a long time now. #TakeThatMostPeople! #Booyah! #DoPeopleStillSayBooyah? #IfNotWhatWouldDoTheySay? #ItIsKindOfOld #NoI'mGoingWithBooyah #Yup #FeelsRight #PrettyFunToSay #UnlessItMeansSomethingBad #NoNoMyMindIsMadeUp #BooyahItIs #Boooo-yah!
I'm tired of hearing how things are good for me because they are "All-natural". If you want me to eat healthy, you're going to have to do better than that. Because you know what else is all-natural? Botulism. #2014PostClearance
I was in bumper-to-bumper traffic the other day, on a one-lane entrance ramp waiting to get on the expressway like appox. 100 other commuters. We were all moving no more than 2 mph, and it was stop-and-go at that. Despite the fact that there was literally nowhere I could go, there was a woman behind … Continue reading On Understanding your Fellow Man
A Hummer passed me on the expressway the other day going about 95 mph. It happened to be the same day that I saw gas for less than two dollars per gallon for the first time in about 12 years. I truly believe the guy in the Hummer was doing a high-speed victory lap around … Continue reading On Cheap-ish Gas
I like LinkedIn. It's a little like that really great preschool teacher, the one who is always trying to make sure people get along and building self-esteem. "Phil got a new job. Why don't you congratulate Phil! Here, I'll even write the message for you, all you have to do is hit "Send." You can … Continue reading On Uber-Social Media
"Daddy, is that candy you put in your bag? I thought I saw candy. Did you put candy in there? What kind of candy is it? Why are you taking candy to work?"I'm thankful for their growing little inquisitive minds, but, c'mon!
One the one hand, I love that you are so creative. I love that you took such care in making this mask, on your own with no help or instruction. You are a treasure and I'm thankful to God that I get to be your dad. On the other hand, excuse daddy while he calls church to … Continue reading On the Line Between Creative and Horrifying
This relationship has started much as I believed it would: My human children nestled snugly in their beds as you and I stand together in the dark and in the rain, both of us tired, both of us a little confused as to how we got here; me, begging you to go to the bathroom, … Continue reading Ode to a Puppy
Before we had kids, people used to talk about the joy of hearing the pitter-patter of little feet. What those people failed to mention is that sometimes the pitter-patter is accompanied by screams of, "You lied to me Evie. You lied to me!"
A quick tip for anyone with small children heading to the fair this weekend: they have a couple of excellent free toddler rides in the South Wing. Tons of fun.
Thus begins the great American tradition of travelling to the sea, trudging through the most uncomfortable and intrusive substance known to man, hot sand, throwing our children into the water, and praying that no one gets eaten by a shark. Strange folks, we are.
A guy at work told me that we need to "let sleeping dogs lie". Call me old-fashioned, but if we start down that road, next thing we know groggy dogs are cheating on their taxes and fully awake dogs are stealing our cars.
Experts agree that language development is a key component to a child's overall growth. Some really important made-up institute of such-and-such has recently released the following infographic showing the top ten most uttered phrases in the typical US household. I'm not saying we hear these in our home, but am passing along this data as a … Continue reading On the Importance of Verbal Communication
I was at the playground with two of my children, and became annoyed when I glanced at the top of the slide to see a group of boys blocking the entrance, like some sort of pre-teen gang. Then I looked closer and saw my 2 year old, Sam, sitting in the middle of the group, … Continue reading On Playground Thugs