The “Limited” Time Offer

I keep getting these emails from companies informing me that I am being offered an INCREDIBLE discount on their product/service, but only for a VERY limited time.  Then, when I'm sure the deadline has passed, they pop back up and say they've extended it, but only for the BRIEFEST of windows, and ONLY for me. … Continue reading The “Limited” Time Offer

The Biscuit Distress

Last Saturday, we found ourselves, all six of us, in the Chick-fil-A drive thru.  This is not rare or exceptional, in and of itself, as we are often to be found in various drive-thrus across this great city, Chick-fil-A being among the family favorites.   It’s only notable in that my son spent the entirety of … Continue reading The Biscuit Distress

Speak(ing) Out

Can we briefly hit the pause button on political discourse (however noble) and address the abomination that is the game Speak Out? I don't even feel completely comfortable with my mouth splayed wide-open for dental professionals. You bring that same experience to the living room or kitchen table, we're laying the foundation for some serious … Continue reading Speak(ing) Out

Carrying on the Medicine Cabinet Tradition

I remember clearly the bathroom medicine and sink cabinets at my home growing up.  They contained what seemed to a young, healthy, immortal guy like me an inordinate amount of pills, tablets, ointments, etc. Some were new-ish, some had expired in decades gone by.  To be sure, in retrospect, some were surely mine; cherry cough … Continue reading Carrying on the Medicine Cabinet Tradition

On Moving Sleeping Children

There was a time when it was kind of sweet when a child would fall asleep in the car at night, and you'd have to carry them to bed when you got home. Now, when 4 kids are asleep in the car, it's like I'm smuggling expatriates across enemy lines, working under the cover of … Continue reading On Moving Sleeping Children

On Bath Night – #3

Well, it was once again bath night, and I don't have to tell you that our bathroom now resembles the collection tank of one of those boats in the New York harbor that skims the water for trash and debris: there's a thin sheen of oil floating atop foamy brown water; soaking wet clothes; non-matched … Continue reading On Bath Night – #3

On Keeping People Alive

I'll often have well-meaning people ask me if we have big plans for the weekend.  I understand and appreciate the question, and even ask it myself sometimes.  However, sometimes, despite how much I treasure my family, it just seems cruelly ironic.  Plans? Who am I, Jay Gatsby? "Let me see. . .oh, yeah. check this … Continue reading On Keeping People Alive

On Theme Parks

This past weekend, my wife, my kids and I spent a wonderful day out at the second-best cornfield-turned-attraction America's heartland has to offer (behind, of course, Iowa's famed Kinsella family baseball field, which I've heard is a lot like heaven). Our weekend family fun excursion was to Indiana's Holiday World, formerly Santa Claus Land, formerly formerly some … Continue reading On Theme Parks

On Parenting as a Science

If you've ever crawled into the back of a van to assess the mess left behind by children, give yourself an honorary degree in paleontology. You're uncovering layer upon layer of information about the people who were there before you. "Looks like these small humans had what we scientists call "fast food". Say, early April? … Continue reading On Parenting as a Science

Parenting Tip: On Crossing the Line Between Kind and Kind of Dull

Parenting Tip: When playing the game Memory with your young child, it is fine to purposely miss obvious matches so that your child can find them, allowing her to hone her mental skills. However, do not be surprised if the look on her face goes from "I am really good at this!" to "Something is … Continue reading Parenting Tip: On Crossing the Line Between Kind and Kind of Dull

On the Inadequacy of Drivers Ed

We were driving home from church today, and there was a Drivers Ed car behind us. It struck me that the contrast between what was going on in our car and what was probably happening in that car had to be pretty stark. I like to imagine that in that car, all was quiet and serene, a … Continue reading On the Inadequacy of Drivers Ed

On the Burger-Order Approach

I recently spent some time at one of the greatest places on the planet to people-watch: the McDonald's in Concourse C at the DFW airport.  In doing so I discovered that there are but a handful of ways that people will order their fast food. Now, I'm no behavioral health specialist, but I did stay in a … Continue reading On the Burger-Order Approach

On 5 Things You Probably Didn’t Know about Your Local Kid-Themed Restaurants

Themed restaurants aimed specifically at children have become a staple of the culinary landscape in America. Pizza, burger and falafel joints offering everything from skee-ball to indoor skydiving have become extremely popular in the past 20-plus years. As a dad, I've spent my share of time in these lively places and they have certainly left … Continue reading On 5 Things You Probably Didn’t Know about Your Local Kid-Themed Restaurants

On Horse Name Contenders

In honor of the Kentucky Derby, here are some top contenders for what I would name my horse, based on life with my (wonderful) family: Classic Meltdown Everything's Broken Chicken Nugget Where's the Boy Whodunnit El Ketchup Stain Somebody's Wailin Nosleepforyou American Fatman Carpe Diaper