The Double-Edged Spork

I'm convinced the CEO of Taco Bell called an all-hands meeting late last year and declared that 2018 was going to be the year that Taco Bell would fulfill its secret mission of crushing the human spirit. After this bold declaration, he opened up the floor for ideas on how they might accomplish this. From … Continue reading The Double-Edged Spork

Customer Service at its Finest!

I love how foreign carmakers learn about their American customers over the years and make the appropriate adjustments. For instance, we have an early 2000's Honda Odyssey, and the crazy thing won't even hold a standard large McDonald's Diet Coke! Flash forward a few years, and now we have a newer model. I see that … Continue reading Customer Service at its Finest!

All is Fair (And Other Potential Puns)

I love the State Fair. The fried foods. The livestock. The temporary rides of questionable safety. The enviable-yet-eternally-mysterious sense of weathered camaraderie in the carnie community. I don’t, however, love, like or even have special feelings for the exhibit entry process. In recent years, we have allowed the girls to enter something, mostly so we … Continue reading All is Fair (And Other Potential Puns)

Aside – Road Trip 2018

I listened to a Hemingway book during our drive down to Florida, so tonight's post, which is meant to relate a fairly common parental culinary struggle, is written (in a very poor imitation) in his honor. The waves were tall and dark green. There was much foam. The flag flying above the distant estación de … Continue reading Aside – Road Trip 2018

5// Locations

Previously, the Scientist found himself, perhaps irrationally, perturbed at work, lamenting the new reality of packaging, dreading the bulk of the correspondence which he owed, but looking forward to a certain "interaction" he felt the need to make.  Below is a transcript of that interaction.  (Click here to see a TOC of previous chapters) From … Continue reading 5// Locations

Not at all what I meant - 40by40

At a local fall festival this weekend: Wife: Do you want a piece of pie? Me (aka Pie Aficionado): Yes! Surprise me. {Wife brings back cake} Me: ??? That's not what I meant. #40by40

Fancy Restaurants (aka Gum Problems) – 40by40

You know a restaurant is too fancy when there are no paper napkins to spit your gum out on. This NEVER happens at McDonald’s. (Bottom of the table it is.)

A Love Letter to Carbs

My Dearest C, It's hard to believe it's only been a few days, for it seems like an eternity. I hope you are well and that you'll forgive this letter, but I find myself unable to stop thinking about you now that we are apart. No doubt that statement will anger you;  you will remind … Continue reading A Love Letter to Carbs