Author: The Second-Rate Scientist

Something “Borrowed”

. . . Well, my writing teachers in college warned against the "overuse" of "quotation marks," and that little bit of wisdom was obviously "wrong," . . .

95 before 41

I realize that many blogging purists probably don't use Facebook.  However, I more or less appreciate it for what it is, and as I'm trying to build a readership while at the same time developing a voice, etc, I need to use whatever media I can.  So, I'm in the middle of a push to … Continue reading 95 before 41 →

Business is Business

This week at work, we had an "all-hands" meeting to discuss the state of the company. Most of it was presented in financial parlance, most of which was over my head, and likely over the heads of my colleagues, as we are largely a technical group. I feel like we were like a bunch of … Continue reading Business is Business →

Stay Strong!

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There’s a Law for That

"Yield for Pedestrians, It's the Law!" Seems like a no-brainer. The existence of this sign means that, at some point, some politician had to stand up -- in my mind wearing suspenders and a string-bow tie, periodically mopping his brow with a monogrammed handkerchief, two fingers of small-batch bourbon resting on the desk beside him … Continue reading There’s a Law for That →

Guess What

My son uses the phrase "Guess what." approximately 1183 times a day. I don't know if that's typical, but I hope he outgrows it before he enters the workforce. I can imagine it will not be necessarily appreciated: Hey, Boss! Guess what. What? I ran those tests you asked for, and guess what. What? I … Continue reading Guess What →

Password Fatigue Episode 2 – Still Fatigued

And then there’s this kind of tech-insanity: “Please enter your password:” ME: ChemistryRules “Sorry, that doesn’t match our records.” ME: Pretty sure it’s ChemistryRules “Sorry, that doesn’t match our records.” ME: I just entered this earlier today. It’s definitely (types slower) ChemistryRules “Sorry, that doesn’t match our records.” ME: "What is happening!" (Types one letter … Continue reading Password Fatigue Episode 2 – Still Fatigued →

The Double-Edged Spork

I'm convinced the CEO of Taco Bell called an all-hands meeting late last year and declared that 2018 was going to be the year that Taco Bell would fulfill its secret mission of crushing the human spirit. After this bold declaration, he opened up the floor for ideas on how they might accomplish this. From … Continue reading The Double-Edged Spork →

Customer Service at its Finest!

I love how foreign carmakers learn about their American customers over the years and make the appropriate adjustments. For instance, we have an early 2000's Honda Odyssey, and the crazy thing won't even hold a standard large McDonald's Diet Coke! Flash forward a few years, and now we have a newer model. I see that … Continue reading Customer Service at its Finest! →

The Master Switch

Parents need a master light switch by the front door. That way we don't have to wander around the entire house shutting off lights. We can just throw one large, Alcatraz-style breaker, a metal beast that's two feet wide and takes two hands to pull down. Imagine the penultimate satisfaction of grabbing that steely handle, … Continue reading The Master Switch →