There’s a Law for That

“Yield for Pedestrians, It’s the Law!”

Seems like a no-brainer.

The existence of this sign means that, at some point, some politician had to stand up — in my mind wearing suspenders and a string-bow tie, periodically mopping his brow with a monogrammed handkerchief, two fingers of small-batch bourbon resting on the desk beside him — and make a speech (in an exaggerated Good Ol’ Boy drawl, of course) something akin to the following:

“Now, ladies and gentlemen, I sincerely believe that my brethren and sisteren across the aisle would agree that, here in Kentucky, we should not – SHALL not – tolerate the running over of pedestrians. No sir. In fact, we should pride ourselves on that very belief. Ask any citizen of this great state, and he or she will tell you where our values lie: God, tobacco, country, and pedestrians.

“Today, it is incumbent upon us to do what should have been done years ago, to right a wrong that has besmirched the good name of the Bluegrass state for too long, to leave a legacy which reminds our children and our children’s children that, as the flag of our great state proudly declares, ‘United We Stand.’ Because, ladies and gentlemen, that motto speaks not only to those who stand safely in fields and in yards and in bodies of water and in senate chambers and in other indoor areas inaccessible to motorized vehicles, but also to those who stand in and alongside parking lots and sidewalks and crosswalks and go kart tracks and parade routes and other high-traffic areas.

“Friends, join me today in voting YES on the Precious Pedestrian Protection Law. History is watching to see how we will WALK … this out.”

Or something like that.


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