Couldn’t We ALREADY Eat Pizza Anytime?

Sometimes, when I realize how much I love something that’s bad for me, and thus feel a bit of shame and/or embarrassment, I lash out and blame others. Perhaps this is where the following rant comes from? Perhaps it’s that I’m the guy who has no qualms about, OCCASIONALLY, eating a piece of pizza for breakfast — I don’t need Big Food’s spin doctors telling me it’s ok! Or, perhaps it’s simply that these are the types of things I’m doomed to write, a sign of a mind that is stuck in the “peanut gallery corner” of junior high. Oh well . . .so much for the Pulitzer or Fancy Book Award. My new goal is to not be sued or publically shamed by Big Food*.



I love how the folks who make Bagel Bites (Ore-Ida, as it happens, aka the tater tot people, aka the Sultans of Starch) solved a problem that did not exist. Remember the jingle?

“🎵When Pizza’s on a bagel, you can eat pizza anytime.🎶”

That was like 25 years ago, at most. I know we’ve come a long way in terms of technology, but I think even 25 years ago you could find and eat a slice of pizza any time of the day, without much trouble.

True to the law of advertising, they acted as if they ushered in some type of major breakthrough, a kind of pizza-availability barrier that had frustrated food scientists, and the general public, for eons! We could all relax now because finally, FINALLY, someone had found a way to put pizza. . . stay with us here, because it’s about to get heavy . . . on a bagel!

And, as a result, we, the pizza-adoring public could eat pizza — and here is the real life-changer — ANYTIME! (“USA! USA! USA!”)

Do you think real scientists of the time, people curing disease and sending satellites into space and inventing high-tech, ever talked about the Bagel Bite team:

“You won’t believe what I heard is going on over at Ore-Ida? Yeah, yeah, the tater tot people. Pizza…on a bagel! No, really. I’m dead serious! That’s what I heard…Yup, on a Bagel. Didn’t think…{sniff, sniff} I’d live to see it… Oh, so sorry I’m crying, Carl, but it’s beautiful!



*NOTE: I have no idea if “Big Food” is a thing. I’ve just noticed lately that for any industry which we want to collectively condemn as evil and greedy, we place the word “Big” in front of the industry title. Like “Big Pharma” or “Big Children’s TV.”



200_s

Food Humor

2 Comments Leave a comment

  1. Wow. Pizza. On a bagel. That you can eat anytime. Whoa! Now there’s a novel concept. 😀

    Oh, and the word “big” that preludes the word “bird”… Surely you aren’t implying that our giant yellow flightless friend is evil? 😛

    • Now that you mention it, he and the rest of the gang have seemed pretty shifty since they moved to HBO and started hanging out with the GoT crew. Hmmm. . . maybe I AM. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Feeding On Jesus

Bread from Heaven, Fresh from God's oven!

Front Row Seat Israel

A Front Row Seat to Future History

This is Another Story

About life, fantasy, and everything in between

This, that and the other thing

Looking at life through writing and photography

(CALIATH)

A land of ineptitude.

Audra's Book Blabbing

Let's Talk About Books!

Life of Chaz

Welcome to My Life

The Art of Blogging

For bloggers who aspire to inspire

Help Me Believe

Strengthen the believer. Answer the critic.

Black Coffee

Coffee at its Best

Ben's Bitter Blog 2

I make bitter better.

The Nerdy Lion

Lions can wear glasses too

Sara in LaLaLand

Welcome to my world.

Beneath The Tip of My Pen

Her life, her art

Biff Sock Pow

Finding the humor in everyday life.

Dirty Sci-Fi Buddha

Musings and books from a grunty overthinker

Learning to write

Just your average PhD student using the internet to enhance their CV

Memoir Of A Writer

perfecting language on paper

unbolt me

the literary asylum

countingducks

reflections on a passing life

Love Travelling

Travel diaries providing inspiration for planning the perfect trip

%d bloggers like this: