As someone who has observed folks caught up in the Powerball frenzy this weekend, I’d like to as lovingly as possible remind you of two things:
1) If you lose, it was, in all fairness, to be expected. The lottery systematically preys upon Humanity, and to place our hopes in such a system is a fundamental and tragic, if understandable, blunder in judgment.
2) If you win, remember your old pal Phil. Your friend, your confidante, your biggest fan. The one who has been there for you through thick and thin, through the ups and downs of life. I knew you could do it all along, friend, knew you were due, not a doubt in my mind!