“It’s Alive! Oh, the humanity!!”

We don’t ever buy fancy canned dog food. However, we recently received a coupon for some free cans, so why not?

I don’t think I’ve ever opened fancy canned dog food before. All I have to go on is the commercials. You know the ones: A perfectly manicured hand peels back a beautiful gold foil top to reveal a generous portion of a scrumptious, meaty delicacy. Often times, it’s lovingly spooned into crystal stemware or onto a silver plate, all served up on some kind of silk cloth. Sometimes there’s a candle, as if the dog might be expecting a date.

Here’s what they don’t show you, but what you would have seen had you been in my kitchen this morning:

A slightly splotchy hand in need of some light moisturizer and a loofah wrestles back the lid of a small can to reveal a gelatinous slab of “meat” product that smells like a gelatinous slab of “meat” product which has been in a can for a few months. The decidedly non-camera-ready hand retrieves a spoon from the drawer, briefly hesitating as it’s one of the spoons the hand-man’s children eat their cereal with; however it cannot be helped as the hand-man has failed to reserve a silver antique spoon for the dog’s food, ignoring the protocol.

The hand applies the spoon gently to the top layer of the “meat” product; we wait in anticipation, expecting the “meat” product to roll backwards in a smooth and graceful arc. We instead are horrified when the entire blob of gelled “meat” product seems to reach out and envelope the spoon, extracting itself out of the can in one big vibrating oval of disgusting, like a creature from a 1950’s Sci-Fi magazine. All of the above is set not to the soothing tones of slow jazz piano, but to the indescribable “schlummmp” sound the “meat” product makes as it exits the can, and the shrieks of “Oh, gross!” and “It smells horrible!” from the hand-man’s children.

Advertising!

(BTW, the dog didn’t care – she ate it in about 45 seconds).

dog-bowl-1567062_1280

Dogs Humor Kids Marketing

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Feeding On Jesus

Bread from Heaven, Fresh from God's oven!

Front Row Seat Israel

A Front Row Seat to Future History

This is Another Story

About life, fantasy, and everything in between

This, that and the other thing

Looking at life through writing and photography

(CALIATH)

A land of ineptitude.

Audra's Book Blabbing

Let's Talk About Books!

Life of Chaz

Welcome to My Life

The Art of Blogging

For bloggers who aspire to inspire

Help Me Believe

Strengthen the believer. Answer the critic.

Black Coffee

Coffee at its Best

Ben's Bitter Blog 2

I make bitter better.

The Nerdy Lion

Lions can wear glasses too

Sara in LaLaLand

Welcome to my world.

Beneath The Tip of My Pen

Her life, her art

Biff Sock Pow

Finding the humor in everyday life.

Dirty Sci-Fi Buddha

Musings and books from a grunty overthinker

Learning to write

Just your average PhD student using the internet to enhance their CV

Memoir Of A Writer

perfecting language on paper

unbolt me

the literary asylum

countingducks

reflections on a passing life

Love Travelling

Travel diaries providing inspiration for planning the perfect trip

%d bloggers like this: