The Pain of Speaking Punctuation

I love using voice-to-text on my phone, that feature which dictates what you say, as you say it.  Since you have to speak the punctuation as well (assuming you want to include it), it makes me especially thankful for grammar teachers who taught me to value punctuation.

However, this form of language input, particularly when punctuation is included, is often tedious.  Here is a sample of phrases which are a pain in voice-to-text (Hint: for full effect, read out loud and include the punctuation in your reading):

What? Seriously? You still can’t find it? Well did you question Mark?

They say it could be any number of colon issues; here is a partial list of colon issues it could be, if it is an issue with the colon: diverticulitis, colitis, etc.

I. Am. Not. Going. Period.

Yep; they say it’s a treatable condition truck drivers often get; it’s called ‘Semi-colon.’

Oh, I asked for the “quote”. Would you like to know what he said when I asked for the “quote”?  He said, and I quote, “I can’t give you the ‘quote’ without an Account number – it’s required for the quote.” That’s a quote. I’ll never call that “business” again. You can quote me on that!

I just wanted you, my best friend, my confidant, my rock, to know that he, you know who, the one we were talking about, is in a coma, a deep coma, but not a bad coma, at least that’s what the coma doctor said, the one I told you about who does only comas? He, that coma doctor, said that it wasn’t a bad coma, when he told me about the coma, the bad, but not too bad, coma I just told you about, just a moment ago, when I mentioned the coma.

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